


Missing You...

by thatwriterlady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:17:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2807366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After rescuing his vessel's daughter Castiel sets out on a life of his own feeling like a failure now that he is human again.  He makes his way to Chicago, discards his phone, his last tie to the Winchesters, and takes on a job as a janitor in a school, but no matter how far he runs away from Kansas, he can't escape his feelings for Dean.  He thinks Dean doesn't want him after their last altercation and it's not until he finds an email from Dean in his inbox that he is reminded of everything he left behind, and the only place that was ever really home to him.  With some help from Charlie, Dean is able to track Cas down, but will he have the guts to finally open up about how he really feels?  Read and find out.  Comment if you like it.  It was suppose to be a one shot but it's getting too long.  There is some smut later down the line, but it was fun to write.  I'll keep adding on to it until it's done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have a slight (or not so slight) obsession with Destiel. They're like the perfect couple. I could write about them forever, lol. If you like it, leave a comment. It started out as a one shot but started to get too long, so I put it into chapter. Enjoy!

Castiel:

It had been lonely since his fall but Castiel was loathe to burden the Winchesters with his problems. Since bringing Dean back from his run as a demon and saving Claire from herself his grace had faded until he was incredibly sick. An angel named Esau had stepped forward to help, cutting the rotting grace out of him thus rendering him human once more. Now not even the angels answered when he called. He was truly alone. Somehow a year after losing his grace he found himself in Chicago working in a school as a janitor. He'd learned enough from Sam and Dean to forge the necessary documents in order to get hired and he avoided everyone, staff and students alike in an attempt to remain unnoticed. Days bled together and he did his job, saving up whatever money he made and sending at least half of it to Claire. He only kept enough to eat and rent his room at the local men's center. He thought often of Dean, wondering if the elder Winchester hated him and how would he react if he picked up a phone and called him. He pushed the thought away and continued to work. He wouldn't burden Dean. 

Dean:

Cas had up and disappeared after taking Claire away from that house that day and every day since he had wondered where the angel had gone. He didn't answer his cell and it was only a few short months later when he had called and gotten a woman instead of Cas' usual confused voicemail recording. She said she had just gotten that number and had no knowledge of anyone named Castiel. The emotion that tore through Dean in that particular moment had been a combination of anger and grief. He'd managed to push away another member of his constantly dwindling family and Cas was the one person he had never wanted to push away, aside from Sam of course. Realizing Cas was gone from his life, possibly forever left him with a huge gaping hole in his heart that he had no idea how to fix. He became even more irritable and quicker to anger and he knew Sam wanted to help but he didn't know how to let him. Occasionally Charlie came by and it was while they were out drinking one night that he finally decided he needed to get some things off his chest. Or it was Charlie's ability to get him to admit to things he didn't realize were on his mind that did it. Either way, after doing tequila shots he started talking. "He just left. No warning, nothing. He just took Jimmy's daughter and left. I've been trying to reach him but he turned his phone off. Last time I called some woman answered. It's not even his number anymore. I paid that bill every month and he got rid of it. Why would he do that?" There was raw pain in his voice and tears stung in his eyes. Charlie patted his arm. "Are you positive he's still alive? You said his grace was fading. What happens when an angel's grace is gone?" She asked, her words slurring. Dean frowned. "They die. Or they turn human. I'm not positive on the specifics." He slurred the word specifics and it came out pacifics. "So he could maybe still be alive!" She slapped the counter as a drunken thought entered her mind. "Let's go looking for him!" Dean looked over at her, one eye brow raised. "You're insane. We have no idea where to even look, or if he even wants to be found." She leaned closer, nearly falling off her stool in the process. "If he feels even a little bit towards you what you feel towards him, then trust me, he'll want to be found." Dean growled into his empty shot glass. "He's my friend Charlie. I care about him because he's my friend." He put emphasis on the word friend but he knew it was a lie even as the words left his mouth. Cas was more than just a friend. He was so much more than that.


	2. My Brother's in Love with an Angel

Castiel:

It was spontaneous his decision to buy a new phone. He happened to be in Walmart to buy himself some socks and there was a display of prepaid phones sitting right there. He hadn't spoken to Claire in a long while and thought it might be nice to give her a call. Or maybe even call Dean. He shook that last thought out of his head. Dean didn't like human Cas and wouldn't want him around, or at least that was what he kept telling himself. But he bought the phone anyway. It was a smartphone and he found that he was somewhat excited to have internet access again, even if it was in a limited capacity. He was surprised that his email address was still valid when he first logged into Google. He had only started an email because Sam had insisted he should have one for the transference of documents, but it was Dean that had chosen the actual address when Cas hadn't been able to think of one. "Angelwings_67. You know, cause you're an angel. And '67 is the year my Impala was made. It was a good year." Dean had been in a good mood that day, watching Sam set the email up for him and teaching him how to access it, how to send and receive the emails, and how to do downloads. It had made Cas glad to see Dean so happy and he had smiled with him. He now sat in his tiny room at the Men's Center which was barely bigger than a closet with his phone, reading and catching up on the news he had been avoiding, and naturally his curiosity led him to see if there were signs of any supernatural activity anywhere nearby. Back at the store the sales rep had asked him if he had any contacts he wanted to add to the phone. He had exactly three, and he had added them, knowing full well he would never call two of them. It was just comforting knowing that the numbers were in his phone should he ever need them for anything. He wished he had a picture of Dean, something with which to remember his smile, those green eyes that were so intense and serious yet warm and caring at the same time. He closed his eyes then, pushing away the ache that was in his heart at the memory of his old friend. He found a card game in the playstore and downloaded it, using it as a pleasant distraction from calling his old friends. Anything was better than hearing the rejection he was so afraid he'd hear in Dean's voice.

Charlie:

Charlie had decided a few days in Kansas was a good idea if it meant helping Dean find Cas. He was in serious denial and she needed to knock that right out of him. He was pining for his lost love and she could see how much it was irritating Sam, even if he didn't realize exactly what was going on with Dean. She took him aside one afternoon while Dean was out on a food run. "Hey, I've noticed Dean's been a bit cranky lately." She sucked at being casual but she tried anyway. He looked up at her, one eyebrow raised, a smirk on his face. "A bit? He's biting my head off on almost a daily basis. Something has crawled up his butt and died." He said with a bitter laugh. "Yeah, about that. I know what's wrong." She said. His expression changed to one of interest. "Yeah? What?" "Cas." She replied, simply. Sam pursed his lips as he thought about that. "You know, you'r right. Ever since Cas cut out of here he hasn't been the same. I guess Cas could classify as his best friend." Charlie leaned closer, excitement gleaming in her eyes. "Oh, I think it's more than just friendship. Dean started opening up last night over tequila shots. He's in a lot of pain. He's hurt and angry and he wants Cas back in his life." "What? Charlie, do you realize what you're implying? You're saying my brother is in love with an angel!" Even as the words left his mouth he realized they were true. "Oh shit..." Charlie nodded eagerly. "Yes oh shit! What are the chances Cas feels the same way about him?" She asked. Sam thought for a minute. "Well, now that you mention it they were always looking at each other. Like Dean would be watching Cas when he thought he wasn't looking, and then he'd look away and Cas would be doing the same thing. And he always seemed to light up at anything Dean said. Even letting him give him that cheesy email address. Anything Dean wanted or suggested, Cas was game for." He chuckled at the thought. "Holy shit, my brother's in love with an angel." "Email address? Do you remember it? If he's still using it we should be able to track him." She was already pulling her laptop open. "Angelwings_67. At gmail." He moved his chair closer and leaned over so he could see what she was doing on the screen. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she tracked the email address. "I got him." She said thirty minutes later. "He's in Chicago." She looked up triumphantly. "You have to teach me that trick. It takes me a lot longer to do that." He said. "Dean and I are going to go get him." She said as she pulled her phone from her pocket. "Dean's not going to go." Same said, shaking his head. "You underestimate your brother. The only thing that has stopped him thus far is the belief that Cas might be dead. We're going to go to Chicago and find him!" Sam frowned as he watched her dial Dean's number. "What if someone else has that email address now?" He asked. She reached up and squished his cheeks between her hands. "Have faith Sam, have faith in true love!"


	3. It's Just a Little Email

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how I divided the chapters. It was harder for this one, but I'm trying.

Dean: 

He was on his way back to the bunker with everything they would need to make a hearty lasagna for dinner when his phone rang. "Winchester." He said. "Dean? Guess what? I found Cas!" Charlie squealed in his ear. Dean felt as though his heart had stopped. He quickly pulled over and put the Impala in park. "What?!" "I found him! Hurry back, we can pack some clothes and go get him!" She was so full of excitement that it was hard not to feel a bit of it seeping into him too. "Where? Where is he?" He managed to ask. "Oh no, you come back here and get me. You're not going alone! You'll need me to locate him once we get there anyway." She knew him too well. He'd turn around right now and go after Cas if he thought he had half a chance of locating him on his own. "Come on! Get back here!" She was almost yelling in his ear. "I'll be there in five." He hung up and swung back onto the road. He drove faster than usual and got back to the bunker in less than three minutes. Charlie and Sam both were waiting by the bunker door for him. "Get the groceries." He said gruffly as he handed them both bags. "And you, start talking." He pointed at Charlie who was grinning from ear to ear. As they carried the bags into the kitchen Charlie discussed what she had figured out so far and Dean listened intently, though he was careful to show a moderate amount of disinterest when he saw how Sam was looking at him. "Help me get dinner ready. We can pack afterward and head out in the morning." He said to Charlie. "Sure." Charlie looked at Sam, a smug look on her face. He just smiled and shook his head. Apparently he didn't know his brother half as well as he thought he did. 

The lasagna was put together and in the oven in less than an hour and they went to their rooms to pack. Dean was tossing a pair of jeans in his bag when Sam knocked on the open door. "You coming Sam?" He asked as he grabbed a couple of tee shirts and put them in the bag too. "No, I'm going to sit this one out. I'm doing some research for Garth anyway. But you guys have a good trip. Bring me back some deep dish pizza." Same replied. Dean nodded. "Yeah, sure." When he realized his brother was still standing there watching him he stopped packing and put his hands on his hips. "What?" He asked. Sam shook his head. "Nothing. I was just wondering what's going on between you and Cas, that's all." Dean's eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. "He's my friend and he belongs here with us. That's what's going on." Sam held up a hand. "Whoa, don't bite my head off. I get it, best friend, profound bond, really, I do get it. But Dean, seriously, is that all there is to it? I saw the way you too looked at each other." Dean was across the room and in Sam's face before he could react, fury blazing in his eyes. "Do not talk about things you know nothing about Sam, I'm' warning you and this is the only warning I will give you!" He was practically snarling but Sam didn't back down. Worst Dean would do was punch him, and he was still bigger than him and could throw just as mean a punch if he needed to. "Why do you assume that I won't understand? You think I don't understand feelings Dean? That I don't understand love? If that's what you think then you're a bigger idiot than I could ever imagine!" Sam realized he was shouting but Dean was backing down finally. He was still angry though. "Stop saying that damn it!" "What, that you love Cas? What is so wrong with that? He loves you too and you're both too stupid to see it! Go get him, tell him how you feel, tell him you love him, otherwise you don't have a chance in hell of convincing him to come back with you. He wants to feel wanted, needed, and you're so damn busy pushing everyone away, like you're pushing me right now. I'm done!" Sam threw his hands up in the air and stormed off. Charlie appeared in the doorway a moment later. "What was that about?" She asked, watching Sam disappear back into the living area. "Nothing. Stay out of it if you know what's good for you." Dean grumbled and returned to his bag. What the hell was he even doing? Just picking up and driving to Chicago on the off chance that Cas might be there? What if Cas wanted nothing to do with him? Was Sam right? He grimaced at the thought that his little brother could be right about this. He stood for a long time with his hands on his hips staring at the half filled bag, just thinking. "We're going. Cause if you chicken out, I'll go without you, and I don't even know what he looks like, but I'll figure it out." Charlie said, breaking him out of his revery. "No, I'm going, I'm just..." He sighed deeply and slowly started packing again. "I don't know what I'm going to do if he tells me to leave." The words came out softly and she almost didn't hear them. "Is that what you're afraid of? Dean, babe, you can't do anything in life without taking some risks. If you love him, you need to tell him, and let the cards fall where they may. You won't know for sure until you get there and see him face to face." He looked up at her, ready to argue the whole love thing again but decided against it. It was pointless. She and Sam were both right. "Goddamn it." He hissed. "Hey, why don't you try sending him an email? Since we know he's using it again. Just something quick. You don't have to spill your heart in it, but say something nice. Don't tell him we're coming though. We don't want to scare him off." She warned. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he considered what he could possibly put into an email. "I'll think about it." She nodded. "That's all I ask. I'm almost done packing. I can't wait to hit the road!" She clapped her hands and bounced on her heels in excitement. Half of his mouth turned up in a smile and he shook his head. "Alright Suzie Sunshine, get your crap together. We head out at first light." She nodded, giving him one last full power smile before bouncing out of his room. He closed the door and pulled his phone from his pocket. Sam had finally convinced him to move into the new century and get a smartphone and while he'd never tell his brother this, he had actually become rather adept at using it, and he pulled his email account up. He typed in Cas' email address as he sat down on the edge of his bed. What should he say? There was so much that needed to be said but he wasn't any good with words. He decided to keep it simple.

Cas, I've been trying to reach you but your phone is disconnected. I miss you. Call me.

Before he could convince himself otherwise he hit send. A small jolt of fear shot through him. Would Cas reply? Would he call? Only time would tell. For now he had a lasagna to get out of the oven.


	4. Chicago Bound

Cas:

He had no idea how to turn off the little notifications that popped up on his screen, and he didn't get enough of them for them to be annoying so when he was just leaving the school after a twelve hour shift and his phone buzzed in his pocket he took it out. Who could have texted him? No one had this new number, not even Claire yet. The icon at the top was not for a text though, it was for an email. He opened his emails and stopped dead in his tracks. The address in the send field was one he knew well. DW_Impala_67. His heart leapt in his chest and he hurried to the first park bench he saw and sat down before his legs could betray him. He was almost afraid to open it. Dean did not generally use email as a form of communication, but since Cas had turned off his old phone and essentially cutting off the only method of communication he had with Cas, he had resorted to email. He tried to picture the reasons why Dean would email him and he couldn't come up with anything. He bit down on his lower lip and opened the email. It felt like an eternity before it finally opened. 

Cas, I've been trying to reach you but your phone is disconnected. I miss you. Call me.

He didn't realize that he was even holding his breath until he exhaled and it came out almost as a yelp. Dean...missed him? Was that possible? He wanted Cas to call him. He debated for a moment. Should he go ahead and call? He needed to think about that one for a little bit.

Dean:

Dean didn't sleep much at all that night. He tossed and turned, checking his phone five million times in hopes that Cas had responded, and feeling that pang in his stomach every time he realized that as yet, his email was still unanswered. By four he was unable to even rest anymore, and he got up. He wanted an early start since he was anticipating a lot of traffic by the time they reached the city limits but they made good time. Charlie was tracking activity for the email to a cell phone and it seemed to be in the same general location most of the day. "He has a job. That's why he's not moving." Dean said when Charlie would announce even the slightest movement. "At least he has the phone turned on." He said with a sigh as they drove into the city. He checked his watch. It was a little after one. "Where to Charlie?" He looked over at her and she was again typing, focusing intently on the computer screen. "How are you even online?" He asked. She held up a little black box. "Portable Hotspot." He nodded though he wasn't exactly sure what that was. "Turn left at the next light." She instructed. He made the left and continued following her instructions until they pulled up in front of a school. "He's in there?" He asked as he found a parking spot down the street. "Yep." She was tapping again on the keyboard. "Somewhere on the second floor." "When do classes let out?" He asked. She pulled up a new screen, Double checking the name of the school she was trying to look up. "Three." Dean checked his watch. It was just shy of two. With a groan he settled back into his seat to wait. Charlie chatted away but he barely heard anything she was saying. Instead he was focused on the front doors of the school. His stomach was in a knot, though he couldn't exactly explain why. When the kids started pouring out he sat up, eyes intently watching, scanning the crowds, but he didn't see Cas anywhere. "What do you suppose he could be doing in a school?" He wondered aloud. "Well, what skills does he really have? Besides being a soldier for God and all. I mean marketable skills. Does he have any at all? I don't think he'd be teaching, so what does that leave? Cafeteria work, janitor, maybe a tutor? He was moving all over earlier. I guess when he comes out we can ask." Charlie said. She was watching the door too. "I still don't know what he looks like." She pointedly reminded him. Dean fished his wallet out of his jacket and opened it. He slipped a picture out and handed it to her. Charlie raised an eyebrow but said nothing as she took it. "Oh, he's cute." It was the three of them standing in front of the Impala, Cas in the middle, and all three of them were smiling openly. Cas stood just a bit closer to Dean than he did to Sam, shoulder to shoulder with him actually. They looked so happy. "I can't wait to meet him." She handed the picture back. "That's provided he even comes out." He muttered. The kids were thinning out, only a few stragglers now, but still no sign of Cas. He leaned forward on the steering wheel and put his chin on his hands. It wasn't long before staff began wandering out. Dean was still staring. Charlie wasn't even sure he was blinking. It was nearly six when the doors opened again a familiar form appeared on the sidewalk in front of the school. "That's him!" He grabbed for the door to get out but Charlie stopped him. "Hold up just a minute." She said. Cas was standing out in front of the school staring down at his phone. He rubbed absently at his chin but never took his eyes off his phone. "I'm positive he got your email." Charlie said softly. Dean relaxed, sitting back, content to watch for now. "You think?" "What did you say?" She asked. He shook his head. "Nothing major. I just kind of told him I missed him." He was aware of the heat that began to burn in his cheeks, but if Charlie noticed it she didn't mention it. Cas looked up for a moment and took a few steps as though he was going to move on, but then he stopped, his eyes back on the phone. "He looks good." Dean murmured. And he did look good. Same wild, dark hair and five o'clock shadow but he was dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans, not the typical suit and trench coat he used to wear. Cas started typing on the phone finally. "I think you should check your emails in about thirty seconds." Charlie nudged him. He pulled his phone out just as it buzzed telling him he had a new notification. He stared at the phone for a moment, almost afraid to check and see what the notification was for. Charlie couldn't stand it anymore and plucked the phone from his hands. "Hey!" He yelled and reached over to grab it back. "Oh shut up. You two are frustrating me." She already had the lock screen opened and had clicked on the email app. He was trying to grab it from her but she was too quick and she stopped him with a palm to the forehead. "He emailed you." She held the phone back out to him and he snatched it away. He was relieved to see that she hadn't actually opened it. "You're a pain in the ass." He grumbled. "I wasn't going to sit there watching you stare at the screen blankly all night.' She complained. He looked back at her for a moment before opening the email. He didn't dare admit how scared he was that Cas was goint to tell him to stop emailing him. He took a deep breath and read it.

You miss me? Why?

Dean looked up and realized Cas was gone. "Shit!" He got out and jogged over to where Cas had been standing but he was nowhere to be seen. "Hey, don't worry loverboy, we know where he works, and it's Wednesday which means he should be back tomorrow. We'll get a room and be back here same time tomorrow." She said as she jogged over to where he was standing. "How do I respond to that? I don't know what to say!" He thrust his phone at her and she took it, reading Cas' response. She scrolled down a little further to see his original email. "Ok, this? This is easy. Come on, let's get a room and we'll work on this email. Cause I know he's sitting staring at his phone waiting for you to write him back." She grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the car. This was going to be fun!


	5. Nightclub Confessions

"You need to losen up a bit Dean. You're too tense. If you overthink this then you're going to write the wrong thing. So relax." They had rented a motel room with two double beds but after dropping their bags off had found their way to a bar down the street. He was looking around nervously. "This isn't exactly the kind of place I usually vist. This is bordering on being a nightclub." He complained. "So what? It has beer and bourbon, right?" She asked. Begrudgingly he nodded. "Good. So, what exactly is it you want to say to him?" She asked as the bartender delivered the first of their shots. He threw his back and pulled out his phone. "I don't have a freaking clue." He looked up at her and she saw so much emotion in those green eyes that it broke her heart. He was confused and frustrated. She just had to ease him into it. "Ok, so let's start with his question. He wants to know why you miss him. So let's talk about the meaning behind those words instead of the question itself. Obviously he wants to know why you miss him, but there is a deeper question there as well. He wants to know if you only miss him or if you need him. I think he was afraid to openly admit he misses you two. It's no wonder you two have been dancing around one another all these years. You're both emotionally constipated. It's a match made in heaven." She said dryly. Dean frowned at her and tossed back a second shot. "Of course I need him." He said. "Good, that's a start. But why?" She sat expectantly. She still hadn't touched her shots so he grabbed one and drank it. She let him. He turned the question over in his head for a long time. "Because...he's Cas." He knew the answer was stupid, but he didn't know how to put how he really felt into words. Charlie tapped her fingers on the bar as she thought. "Ok, so tell me some of the things that you miss the most about him." She leaned her elbow on the bar and waited for him to talk. He took another of her shots and drank it. He was starting to feel a buzz and his tongue was beginning to losen up. "He has the bluest freaking eyes, you know? Like you can seriously get lost in them. I've never seen eyes like that before. When he gets mad it's like fire and brimstone shining in them. It's hot." He gave her a little smile, completely unaware of how much information he was actually providing. He took another shot. "Keep going." She encouraged. "He just gets me, and he doesn't hate me when I'm the biggest fucking dick to him. No, he gets hurt, and that makes it worse, but that makes me want to be a better man. It makes me want to treat him better, you know? I don't want to push him away anymore. I'm tired of pushing people away. I just need him in my life, but if he doesn't want that, well, I don't know what to do then. I guess I'll go back to Kansas and be a miserable bastard for the rest of my God forsaken life. I know with all the shit I've done I don't deserve happiness. I've hurt so many people, done so much wrong, but he always kept me going. Even when Sam gave up on me Cas never did. He gave me hope." Tears were brimming in his eyes and he blinked, forcing them to spill down his cheeks but he didn't notice. " But I need him in my life. I'm nothing without him Charlie, can't you see that? My life is nothing without him." He reached for another shot but she pulled it out of his reach. "I get it Dean, I do. Come on, let's get you back to the motel so you can sleep this off." She slapped money on the counter and helped Dean to his feet. They made it outside to the car but she had to wrestle the keys away from him when he tried to insist that he was alright to drive. "Like hell you are." She said as she shoved him into the passenger seat and then slid behind the wheel. He was asleep, having fallen over in his seat on the ride to the motel and she had to shake him awake once they got there. Once inside the room she gave him one good push and he fell backwards onto the bed, asleep again almost before his head hit the pillow. She pulled his boots off and pulled the blanket over him before snagging his phone from his pocket. He might hate her for this in the morning or he might not. Hopefully he would spend the next ten years thanking her for what she was about to do.


	6. How to Woo Your Angel: By Charlie Bradbury

Cas:

Cas was awoken by the buzz of another notification and as the sleep slipped away from his mind he felt an intense fear. Somehow he knew it was Dean writing back. The time on the phone said it was just after five am. He had to be at work in an hour anyway so he turned off the alarm that was set to go off in another ten minutes anyway and opened up his emails. Sure enough, there it was: An email from Dean. It felt like a hive of bees were suddenly alight inside his stomach and he rubbed at it trying to stop the feeling, but as he opened the email and started reading the feeling only intensified.

Cas,

I'm so sorry for everything that I put you through. I was an ass and I realized now just how much of one I was. I didn't mean to push you away. You were the one constant in my life that never gave up on me, and it feels now like you have. I never wanted you to leave. Why did you change your number? You can't imagine how it made me feel when I realized I'd never get to call you again, never get to hear your voice saying my name. I know I've done terrible things, and that I don't deserve you in my life, but I miss you so much. Cas, I need you in my life, for so many reasons, and if you want to know those reasons then please, pick up the phone and call me. I will list every single one of those reasons for you. Or better yet, tell me where you are and I will come to you, right now, right this minute. Please, you have to know that you are the most important person in my life, even if I was never able to say it before. Angel or human, I don't care, I NEED you Cas. Please don't turn me away. I don't want to live my life without you in it.

Dean

Cas lay back against his thin little pillow and stared at the ceiling for what felt like forever. What was that? Dean just poured his heart out to him! The ceiling began to grow blurry and he realized that he was crying. Something inside him broke then and his entire body was racked with sobs. Dean loved him, even if he hadn't exactly said the words, and he wanted him in his life. The sun was rising quickly and he realized this almost too late. He hurried to get dressed and brush his teeth before tucking his phone into his shirt pocket. For now it belonged next to his heart, for that was where Dean Winchester had really always been.


	7. What Did You Do Charlie?!

Charlie:

Charlie was up and moving around the room by ten but Dean was still drunkenly snoring until after twelve. She crossed the street to a burger joint she had seen there and grabbed them both some lunch, hoping the delicious odors wafting from the bag would be enough to make Sleeping Beauty rise from his drunken slumber. When she returned to the room she hung the bag a few inches above his face and swung it slowly back and forth. Slowly his eyelids began to flutter. When they completely opened she pulled the bag back and he sat up. "Ugh!" He grunted as the hangover he had slapped him over the head. "How much did I drink last night?" He asked. "All of your shots and all but one of mine, so like, seven?" She said, shrugging. He eyed the brown paper bag in her hand. "You got food? What time is it?" He asked. She checked her watch. "Ten to one." She took the bag to the little dinette table and started pulling food out, setting his food on one side of the table before pulling her own food out. "Come on, you need to eat, especially when you see what you did last night." She had one eyebrow cocked and a smirk on her face. His face however fell. "What did I do? Please tell me I didn't drunk email Cas." She popped a french fry in her mouth and shrugged. "Why don't you check your phone." He looked over at the nightstand where it was charging. Had he been sober enough to remember to charge it? If he had been then why didn't he remember writing an email. Then it dawned on him. "Son of a bitch!" Charlie let out a small laugh and popped another fry in her mouth. He reached across the bed, ignoring the pain that shot through his head and grabbed the phone. "Charlie, what did you do?!" He asked as he opened the email app and went into his sent folder. "Jesus Charlie, what the hell?!" He was practically shouting at her but she appeared unfazed by it. "You'll thank me later when he calls you." She said quietly as she took a bite of her burger. "Come on, I got you one with bacon." He took the phone with him to the table and sat down across from her. "You're lucky I like you Charlie or you'd be missing a few teeth by now." He snapped as he picked up his burger and bit into it. It was good and he momentarily forgot how mad he was at her. "What are you eating?" He nodded toward her burger. "Oh, this is a blackbean burger. Ever try one?" She asked, holding it out to offer him some. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "No, and I never will if I can help it." She shrugged and took another bite. He was staring at the email, reading what she had written while he had been passed out drunk. It was eloquent. Just enough of his personality to hopefully not tip Cas off that he hadn't actually written it at all, and yet it perfectly expressed exactly how he felt. "You really think he'll call after that?" He asked, allowing himself to feel a glimmer of hope. "Oh, I'm counting on it." She replied. He picked up a fry and shoved it in his mouth. "What exactly did I say last night?" He asked, grimacing. He knew he must have been blabbing away for her to have concocted an email like that. "You told me how hot his messy hair and blue eyes are, especially when he's mad, but more importantly, you said that you were sorry for everything that you had ever done to hurt him and push him away. You said he makes you a better person and that you need him in your life." She replied frankly. He rubbed at his eyes. Stupid tequila. Every damn time he drank it his lips got loose. "That stays between you and me, you got it? No telling Sam about my tequila confessions." She nodded. "My lips are sealed. I can't speak for yours though..." He chucked the wrapper from his burger at her and it bounced off her forehead before she could duck out of the way. She laughed and he found himself laughing with her. "God, you can be worse than Sam. I didn't tihnk that was even possible." He said, shakind his head. "Hey, someone has to look out for you. Besides, you know you love me." She gave him a cheesy smile. He ate the last of his burger and the fries before standing up. "I'm going to take a shower, I need it after last night." He leaned over and planted a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm leaving my phone here with you. Just don't text him again, ok? And if he calls bring it to the bathroom. I don't want to miss a call from him." He said. "You got it." She saluted him and watched him grab some clean clothes before heading into the bathroom and shutting the door. As soon as he was gone she pulled out her own phone and texted Sam. 

Sam, you're never going to guess what I did last night!


	8. Hello Dean

Cas:

He wasn't sure how he was even able to focus on his work during his shift. He played Dean's email over and over in his mind, wondering if Dean really had meant what he said. He really missed Cas? Wanted him in his life? Cas had never really felt wanted by anyone except Dean, but the last couple of years had been extremely rough and Dean had spent more time pushing Cas away than he had done to make him feel wanted. It was easier to leave and try to forget about Dean than it was to stay and be subjected to that kind of constant rejection. But something seemed to have changed. Had his leaving caused Dean to rethink his behavior? And what about the mark? Was that still influencing how he was behaving? The email seemed to point towards no. So what exactly was going on with Dean Winchester? He was dying to find out. 

The rest of the school day seemed to drag on but he stopped on his lunch break and decided he needed to know about something in particular, so he shot off a brief email to Dean, with a simple question.

Dean,  
What about the mark?

He stuck the phone back in his pocket and went back to waxing the gym. He needed to know one way or the other. It wasn't ten minutes later before he got a response and he paused in the middle of his work to check his emails. There was a photo attachment this time. He opened it and found himself staring at a picture of Dean's forearm. Where the mark had been the skin was now smooth and flawless. He read the text included.

Cas,  
I told you I would find a way to get rid of it, and I did. The only thing upsetting me nowadays is not being able to talk to you, to hear your voice. Please call me when you get a chance.

The mark was really gone. He had no idea what Sam and Dean had done to get rid of it, but it was really gone. He leaned heavily against the bleachers that were still down from the assembly earlier in the afternoon, and felt overwhelming relief flood through him. After a few minutes he tucked the phone back in his pocket and started the floor washer up again. He just wanted to get off work tonight so that he could tell Dean where he was and that he wanted Dean to come get him. He was tired of denying his feelings. Now was the time for action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late, I'm tired, and I have work in the morning. Tomorrow I will try to get a few chapters added but most likely I might get one out while I'm at work, but I will get more added once I get off tomorrow night. Sorry to leave everyone hanging!


	9. Chick Flick Moments

Dean:

It was nearly two before he got another email and when he did it was one he knew he could answer on his own. Cas was worried about the mark. Of course he would be. Dean was at his absolute worst when he had it, even going over to the dark side for a few months, but he and Sam had taken care of that little problem courtesy of Crowley more than six months prior, so now if he was an ass, it was his own fault entirely. He shot off a quick response:

Cas,  
I told you I would find a way to get rid of it, and I did. The only thing upsetting me nowadays is not being able to talk to you, to hear your voice. Please call me when you get a chance.

He hoped he didn't sound cheesy. This entire experience was starting to wander dangerously close to chick flick material (Oh who was he trying to kid? He had waded into it clear up to his neck) and that was just not him, but this was Cas, and Cas was more important than anything. He had showered, shaved, taken extra time grooming just to pass time at all. Charlie was fooling around on her laptop while watching old episodes of some cartoon he vaguely remembered from his chilhood. Sam had texted to ask if they'd found Cas yet, and he had lied. If he said yes Sam would want to know the reasons for not just marching up to him and saying exactly how he felt. Again, that was not Dean. As three o'clock approached he began to pace. "Dean. He's still at the school. Relax." She said as she watched him. "He's not calling or emailing anymore. Why?" He stopped to look at her, irritation the prominent emotion on his face. "Because he's probably doing his job, whatever it is. When he texted earlier I bet he was on lunch. I'm sure you'll get a call or text when he gets off work." She assured him. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and began pacing again. She was right, he was reading too much into it. Why did he have to even fall in love in the first place? He stopped short when that thought crossed his mind. Love. This really was love. This went beyond anything he had ever felt for anyone before and it was both terrifying and exhilarating. Mostly it was just terrifying. Charlie realizing he had stopped pacing looked back at him, noting the look of abject terror on his face. "What's the matter?" He shook his head. "Nothing!" He said quickly. He had known how much he cared about Cas, and that he loved him, but the realization that he was IN love with him was absolutely mind blowing. He'd never been in love before, not even with Lisa, though he had tried so very hard to feel something that deep for her. Nothing compared to how he felt with Cas, and nothing had torn at him like Cas leaving and cutting off all ties. He never wanted anything so much as did now for his phone to ring. Eventually his legs grew tired and he sat down on the edge of his bed. This motel was cheap and didn't have a sofa, and Charlie was kicked back in her bed, leaning back against the headboard. "Ready to go?" She asked at five thirty. His heary leapt into his throat rendering him speechless. He nodded dumbly. "Alrighty then, let's go get your boyfriend!" She was up off the bed and heading for the door already. "He's not my boyfriend." He said as he followed her out the door. "Oh, he will be, and so much more too!" She pinched his cheek before climbing into the passenger seat of the Impala. He slid behind the wheel and turned the key in the ignition. It was now or never.


	10. No Holding Back

Cas:

He got off work as usual at six, passing his keys on to the night shift before heading out. He got as far as the sidewalk before he had his phone out. Now would be the perfect time to call Dean, as he made the walk back to the Center. There had been no further emails from Dean since his response about the mark earlier. He was waiting for Cas to make the next move. He looked up, studying the blue sky above and wondering if he was making the right decision or not. Damn it if he didn't love Dean. With a deep breath he selected the number from his meager phone list and selected call. He put it to his ear and waited. 

Dean:

From where he sat in the Impala three quarters of the way down the block he could see that Cas had his phone out again and was contemplating what to do with it. He was filled with a nervous energy when Cas simply pressed a button and put the phone to his ear. "He's calling you!" Charlie squealed. "Shhh" He pulled his phone from his pocket as it began to ring. Without hesitation he clicked accept and put it to his ear. "Hey Cas." There was silence for a moment on the other end before that familiar gravely voice came through on the line. "Hello Dean." Dean leaned his head back and closed his eyes, forgetting momentarily that Charlie was in the car with him. "Took you long enough to call." He kept his tone gentle, not wanting to upset Cas. "I'm sorry, I have a job, this was the first chance I had to make a call." Cas said. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm just glad you did." Dean told him. "How have you been?" Thinking Dean couldn't see him Cas shrugged. "Just working. I send money to Claire every month. It's the right thing to do after everything she's been through. She's doing better so I like to think I helped with that." "I'd do the same if I were in your shoes." Dean said. "What have you been doing Dean?" He asked. "There have been cases, but not as many. Mostly I've been doing odd jobs around the bunker and driving Sam nuts. I get on his nerves." Dean gave a low chuckle. "Why is that?" Cas asked. "Because it's not the same without you there. It's not really home." He was surprised by how easily the words spilled forth, and how honest they really were. Cas was so quiet for a second that Dean though he had scared him. "I have missed you Dean. You and Sam both." Dean could tell he was being careful with his words. He was afraid of rejection. Even after the emails they'd exchanged he was scared Dean wouldn't want him. When and how did a mighty former angel of the Lord develop such a low self esteem? "Cas, you know we miss you, I miss you. I want you to come home. Will you come home?" There was a soft pleading in his voice he was unable to mask. Geez, when had he become so soft? Cas sighed on the other end of the line. "Dean, I've made a life here. It's not something I can just walk away from." Dean could feel a lump forming in his throat and the ache in his chest intensified. "I know. I get that but..." He didn't know how to just say that he needed him to come home because he loved him and couldn't live without him. Of course Cas was never one to let things just drop. "But what Dean?" Dean took a deep breath and rubbed at the tears that were blurring his vision. He decide just to say it. At least then it would be off his chest. "I want you to come home because I love you Cas, and I need you in my life, and if that isn't enough, I don't know what is." Cas had started walking away from where they had parked, moving slowly as he talked but he came to a dead halt at hearing those words. He leaned against the side of the school as though his legs were too weak to keep him upright. "Do you really mean that?" Cas' voice was small but full of hope. "How well do you know me Cas? How many people have you heard me say those words to?" Dean asked. Cas sighed again. "I've never heard you say it to anyone." "That's because they're words that carry heavy meaning and should not be thrown around lightly. I only say them when I absolutely mean them, and I've never meant them more than I do right this minute. Cas, I love you, it just took me way too long to realize just how much, and for that I'm sorry. If you want to stay where you are, I'll leave you alone, let you get on with this new life of yours, but I needed to tell you. I needed you to know how I really feel." He took a deep breath. That was the most he had shared with another person in probably his entire life. He didn't even have these kinds of talks with his brother. Cas was very quiet again and Dean could see him staring up into trees above whare he was standing. What he couldn't see from this distance was that the dark haired man was crying. "You still with me Cas?" He asked softly. "I'm here. I just wish you were here with me." Cas replied. Dean say straight up. "You do?" "Yes Dean, I do. But you're so far away..." "Cas, do you trust me?" Dean opened the car door quietly and stepped into the street. Cas was still staring up into the trees, not noticing the man walking towards him. "Yes, I do." Cas replied without hesitation. "And you trust that I love you?" Dean asked. Again without hesitation Cas replied "Yes." "Then I want you to close your eyes and make a wish." Cas still hadn't spotted him but Dean could see how Cas' head tilted. "Why?" "Why do you have to question everything? Just do it." Dean waited until he saw Cas' eyes close and then hurried the last few feet until he was standing in front of Cas. "Open your eyes." He said and watched as those blue eyes flew open. The phone almost fell out of his hand as his mouth gaped open. Immediately his eyes flew upward, as though Dean could only be there by divine intervention. Dean tucked his phone into his pocket. "How are you here? It's not possible!" Cas reached out, placing a hand tentatively on Dean's chest. Dean put his hand over Cas' and squeezed gently. "I wasn't dropped off by angels, if that's what you were thinking. I'm here because I drove like an idiot to come see you. Do you know that I had no idea if you were even dead or alive? It was killing me not knowing, and I had no idea where to even look for you either. Thanks to a friend with better tech skills than Sam I found you were here. I didn't exactly want to tell you over the phone that I loved you, but you really didn't give me much of a choice." He could feel how Cas was trembling so he closed the distance and pulled Cas into a hug, wrapping the smaller man in a tight hug. Cas hugged him back just as tight. 

Charlie:

From her seat in the Impala Charlie watched all of this with a smug smile plastered on her face. She pulled out her phone and dialed Sam's number. He answered almost immediately. "What's the verdict?" He asked. "Your brother told Cas he loves him, and more than once too. They're currently standing across the street hugging." She told him. "He said he loves him? Wow. I didn't think he knew what the word meant, not really." He was surprised but proud. He knew how hard that must have been for his brother to say. "So is Cas coming back with him?" He asked. "I think Dean needs to give Cas a bit of incentive first." She was already thinking of how to make that happen. "If by incentive you mean sex, I don't want to know the details." He made a sound like he was puking and she laughed. "They're on their way back so I'll text you later!" She hung up before they reached the car and put on her brightest smile as she got out to meet Cas. "Cas, this is Charlie, Charlie, this is Cas." She thrust her hand out and he shook it. "It's very nice to meet you Charlie. I heard Sam and Dean talking about you before." Cas smiled politely and she could see what Dean meant about his eyes. They were really, really blue. "I hope it was good things." She looked at Dean with one eyebrow raised. Dean smiled but it was clear he was nervous. "Oh yes, they said very nice things." Cas told her. She looked back at him and smiled brightly. "Hey, I'm starving, why don't we all go get some food?" Cas looked over at Dean, frowning. "I'm not sure I have enough-" Dean cut him off. "I'm paying." Cas smiled. "Thank you." "Let's go then!" Charlie climbed into the backseat so Cas could sit up front with Dean. As they pulled away from the curb she noted the way Cas looked over at Dean. She had her work cut out for her if she was going to make sure these two got together and stayed together.


	11. Catching Up

Dean:

It felt good to have Cas as his wingman again. It has been way too long. He could feel each time those blue eyes fell on him and he would look back and smile, enjoying the blush that would creep across that pale face and make Cas smile even wider. "Let's do a real restaurant, just just a diner, ok?" Charlie asked from the backseat. Dean nodded. "Ok." A restaurant sounded good. He pulled into the parking lot of the first Applebee's he saw and they got out. Charlie raced ahead of them and was already inside before they even reached the doors. Cas looked over at Dean, his trademark confused expression on his face. "Is she always like this?" Dean chuckled. "This is nothing." By the time they got inside Charlie was already seated at a table and waving them over. "How did you get a table so fast?" Dean asked as he sat down across from her. "A little flirting goes a long way." She said in a cocky tone. Cas slid into the seat next to Dean since she had put her bag on the only other available chair. Their server arrived and set down menus in front of them before rambling off the specials. "Can I get you something to drink?" She asked. "Beer. Something American, just surprise me." Dean replied, not even looking up at her. "I'll have sweet tea if you have it." Cas said. "Oh, that sounds good, me too." Charlie added. The server nodded and left to get their drinks. Dean closed the menu and looked over at Cas. "Sweet tea? Really?" Cas smiled but his eyes were on his menu. "I like the taste." Dean smiled and shook his head. "So what are you doing at the school?" He asked. "I'm one of the janitors." Cas closed the menu and folded his hands on top of it. "Janitor, huh? Does it pay well?" Charlie asked. "I'm not sure what a janitor usually makes but I don't really make enough to get an apartment." He admitted. "Where are you living if you don't have an apartment Cas?" Dean asked. The idea that Cas might once again be homeless bothered him greatly. "I have a room at a local Men's Center. It's not so bad. I get to shower every day and I have the room all to myself." Cas dared to look up at Dean and immediately wished he hadn't. The mixture of pain and anger on his face was too much. "You're independent and that's awesome Cas. Besides, Chicago is terribly expensive to live in without like a dozen roommates." Charlie said, shooting Dean a warning look. He sat back and sighed. "I'm glad you're doing ok Cas. I really am." He said. Cas looked up at him again. "Are you doing ok Dean?" He asked. Dean chewed on his uppper lip as he nodded. "I'm better now." He smiled and watched Cas look away shyly again. When he looked over at Charlie he caught her eyeing the woman that was seating people. "Go get her." He gave her a wink and she smiled. "Oh, I will." She said. Their drinks were brought and Dean looked over at both of them drinking tea and shook his head. "Maybe I'll try one of those." Cas looked at him, eyes narrowed, a strange smile on his face. "Have you ever had sweet tea?" "Sure. Not in awhile, but I've had it." Dean was trying not to sound defensive. "Are you all ready to order?" Their server was asking. "I want a steak. Medium rare. Whatever potato you have is fine." Dean said to her. Cas elbowed him playfully. "No burger?" It was Dean's turn to blush. "Uh, I eat enough of those, so I'll pass this time." Cas looked up at the server and smiled politely. "I want to try your chicken alfredo please." "Blackbean salad." Charlie piped up when the server turned to her. "Didn't you eat enough black beans already?" Dean teased. "It's protein Dean." She said, rolling her eyes. "Black bean burgers are really good." Cas said. "Then you'd get along splendidly with her. That's what she ate yesterday. Sam and her were trying to convert me over to eating plants all of last week." Dean said as he balled up the paper from his straw and tossed it at her. "You need to eat more vegetables Dean. They're good for you." Cas said soberly. "I eat lettuce and tomato on my burgers." Dean complained. "And bacon. You also eat bacon on them." Cas reminded him. "Bacon is the food of the Gods." Dean said. Cas opened his mouth to argue but thought twice about it. "Tomatoes are fruit." He said instead. Dean was grinning as he took a sip of his beer. He was falling back into the familiar banter he had missed so much with Cas. By the time the food was arrived they were talking intimately and ended up sharing bites of food. Charlie finished her food and excused herself. Dean watched as she sauntered over to the woman by the door and started flirting. Cas was watching her too. "Charlie likes women?" He asked as he looked back at Dean. "Yeah, didn't I tell you that at some point?" Dean couldn't help but stare into those blue eyes. "I don't believe so." Cas looked back at Charlie again with an amused expression. "She is really good at that." Dean chuckled. "Yes she is." Cas had turned toward him and had one elbow on the table, his hand hanging over the edge and Dean wanted so badly to take his hand, hold it close and never let it go. He wasn't sure how Cas would react to that. When he looked up he noticed Cas was watching him. "When do you plan to go back?" He asked. Dean shook his head slowly. "I don't have a set time. There's nothing waiting for me back there." His eyes were intense and Cas tilted his head to the side, peering up at him. "You've changed. You're...calmer." He observed. Dean had finished his beer so he grabbed Cas' tea and took a sip. "Wow that's sweet." He grimaced as he put it back. "I'm not running on pure rage anymore. Without the mark I don't really have much to get mad about these days." He stretched his left arm out, laying it across the back of Cas' chair, essentially trapping him in his seat, and putting himself even closer to him. Cas wasn't backing down though and he took that as a good sign. He had flirting with women down to a science, but a guy? This was a whole new ballpark, and he really had to work hard at it. "I need to get home." Cas said after a few minutes and Charlie still hadn't returned. Dean turned around in his seat to find her but she was nowhere to be seen. "Damn it Charlie." He muttered under his breath as he scanned the restaurant. When he looked back at Cas again there was a sad smile on his face. "What's the matter?" He asked. Cas shook his head. "I wanted you here for so long. I never thought you'd come. I thought you hated me as a human." His eyes were watery but he wasn't crying. Dean did reach out then, and took his hand. He half expected Cas to pull away but he didn't. "I could never hate you, do you understand that? Never. If you want me to stay, I'll stay." Cas nodded, his throat too tight with emotion to speak. "I have work in the morning. I have to go to bed." He finally managed to say. Dean nodded and flagged down their server. "Can I get the check please?" He asked. She nodded and left, returning a few minutes later with their bill. Dean paid and stood up. "What about Charlie?" Cas asked as they headed outside. "She'll text me when she's ready and I'll come back and get her." Dean replied as they started for the car. She'll be fine, trust me." As they stepped outside Cas reached over and took Dean's hand, pulling him to a stop. Dean turned to face him. "Dean, I have been struggling to understand all of the emotions that come with being human. I thought I learned them all the last time around, but I was wrong. Having you here, it is making me experience emotions I didn't realize I even could." Cas wasn't sure how to get the words out and the confused look on Dean's face told him he wasn't explaining it correctly. "Is that a bad thing? Did I upset you by coming here?" Dean asked. Cas' eyes went wide. "No! Quite the opposite! You've made me happier than I have been in a very, very long time." Dean's face relaxed and he smiled. Cas' heart melted seeing that. He had missed it so much. "Do you want to go back to the Men's Center?" Dean asked, realizing how that must sound. He didn't care. He didn't want to every be away from Cas again. "I have to or Fredrick will pick my lock and steal my socks again." Cas replied seriously. Dean couldn't help but laugh though. "Ok, then I'll drop you off. Tomorrow's Friday, do you work on the weekend?" He asked as they started walking to the car, still holding hands. "I work til six tomorrow but I'm off for the weekend." Cas replied. "Can I pick you up tomorrow? Maybe we can do dinner again or something." This felt oddly like he was asking Cas out on a date, but it felt like the direction he needed to go in if he was going to prove that he really was a changed man. They reached the car and Cas turned to face him, a smile on his face. "I would like that. And then maybe we could go back to your motel? It gets loud in the Center and I don't sleep well." Dean nodded. "Sure, of course." He unlocked the car and they got in, Cas reached over and took his hand again. They drove in comfortable silence, Cas speaking only to give directions and it wasn't long before they were pulling up in front of the Center. "I'll be outside at six to pick you up." Dean told him. Cas nodded. "Alright." He reluctantly let go of Dean's hand and slid over to the door to open it. Dean watched him go inside and wondered if he'd been a fool not to kiss him. A text from Charlie redirected his attention. It was time to go back up and pick up the female Don Juan.


	12. Can't Get My Mind Off of You

Cas:

Once he was inside his room Cas realized he was anything but tired. If anything he was wide awake. He plugged his phone in and changed into the tee shirt and shorts he wore to bed most nights but he found that he was a bundle of nerves. Dean had come to Chicago for him! Dean had said he loved him! It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn't said it back and that made him feel absolutely awful. Dean had never let him so close before, and had certainly never held his hand before. His hand stil tingled from the memory of Dean's twined together with his. He was beginning to understand the things that the girls in the hallways at the school would talk about when they gushed about whatever boy they were dating or had a crush on. He tried not to listen to their conversations but sometimes it was next to impossible. They talked about the fluttering in their stomachs when a certain boy walked by, or how their heart would start to race if that boy looked their way. They talked about how dizzy they'd get if he smiled at them, or touched them. These were all things that Dean did to him. He found it slighly odd that he was relating to teenage girls but then again, he'd never had a real relationship, and neither had most of those girls. His phone jingled and as he laid down in the bed he picked it up to see what notification it was for. It was a text this time from Dean.

 

Just wanted to say goodnight. Sweet dreams. I know, cheesy, but well, it's what people say.

Cas smiled so wide his cheeks began to hurt, but he couldn't stop. He lay there wondering what to say back to him. Thanks for dinner? That sounded trite. Thanks for driving hundreds of miles to come see me? No, he had something better he could come up with. He wanted to write something more personal. He was getting the hang of the whole flirting thing and it was actually rather fun, but this was something that came from his heart.

Thank you. I wish you sweet dreams too Dean. Oh, I forgot to tell you something earlier.

He left it at that and waited to see if Dean would respond.

You did? What?

I forgot to tell you that I love you too.

He felt as though he were floating, and it was a wonderful feeling. He understood now the joy that came with finding someone you could love completely, and why some people would search their entire lives just to capture this exact feeling. His phone jingled again and someone pounded on the wall. He turned the volume down on his phone and opened the next text.

You have no idea how happy it makes me to read those words. I love you Cas, I'll see you tomorrow.

Cas laid his head back against his pillow and closed his eyes, certain he would never be able to fall asleep, but indeed he did. He dreamed of Dean in his arms, safe, loved, and in his sleep he smiled.


	13. Dean Winchster, You Blush like a Schoolgirl!

Dean:

Charile had been waiting outside the restaurant for him and when she hopping in next to him she turned to face him. "So?" He frowned at her. "So...what?" She sighed, annoyed, and rolled her eyes. "So did you kiss him?" His eyes went wide. "No!" "Why not? Don't you want to?" She asked. He pulled out of the parking lot and started for the motel. "Well, yeah, but I don't want to scare him away either. I feel like I'm getting somewhere with him. I don't want to ruin it." She was looking at him through narrowed eyes. "Dean, that boy wanted to kiss you so bad I'm surprised he wasn't on top of you the minute we walked in that place tonight." He felt the heat of another blush as it flooded his face. Even his ears were burning. "Geez Charlie." He said weakly. "Dean Winchester, you blush like a schoolgirl!" She exclaimed and slapped her knee. Her head was thrown back and she was laughing, but he couldn't be annoyed with her. At least not nearly as annoyed as he wanted to be. It was hard to get mad at her and next to impossible to stay mad. It was a short drive to the motel and once they were inside the room he stripped out of his jacket and kicked his shoes off. Charlie picked up the remote before falling back into her own bed and began channel surfing, but she saw him pull his phone from his pocket and start typing away on it. "Emailing Cas again?" She asked. He shook his head. "No, texting him." He laid down in the bed and crossed his legs at the ankles. Each time his phone buzzed she looked over to see Dean smiling down at it. It was freaking adorable in her book. This was the side of Dean she had always believed existed, and had sought to draw out. How could she had known that only one person could ever make him smile like that? She had to admit that Cas was adorable. For a guy anyway. He had bedroom eyes framed by dark lashes and hair that appeared to have never once cooperated with him, but the overall package was perfect. Cas' perfectly chiseled features combined with the often innocent expressions he seemed to give made her see some of what Dean loved so much about him. When Dean suddenly sucked in air after another text she put the movie she was only half paying attention to on mute and looked at him. "What did he say?" He looked up, the biggest smile she'd ever seen plastered on his face. "He told me he loved me." She smiled. "Well, we already knew that you big dummy." She said affectionately. "I asked him to dinner tomorrow night. He...wants to come back here afterwards." His smile faltered, replaced by something akin to nervousness. "Good, I'll get another room, let you guys reconnect." She winked at him and his eyes grew wide. "Charlie, I don't know what I'm doing here! What am I supposed to do?" She turned the tv off and looked at him. "What do two people do when they're in love silly? They talk, they hug, they kiss, and if things go further, well, then it just fits because you're with the person you love." He considered her words. "I've never kissed a man before. Like, besides a friendly kiss you know? But this is Cas. I'm so afraid of messing things up with him." He set the phone aside and laid back, staring up at the ceiling with his arms over his head. "I will bet you that man is kissing you before the night is over. Just you wait and see. You're not going to have to do a darn thing." She predicted. He looked over at her. "No way, not Cas." She gave him a smirk. "Oh, he's not as innocent as you think he is. Just you wait and see." He grinned at her. "You're on."


	14. Cas is a Flirt

Cas:

He woke earlier than usual thanks to a commotion out in the hall but he took the extra time to take a longer shower and shave before returning to his room to get ready for work. He wasn't going to have the time to stop back here after work so he wanted to find something nice to wear. The problem was that he owned exactly five shirts and three pairs of jeans, not including the suit and trench coat he had hung on to. But he couldn't exactly wear a suit under his overalls at work. He'd be a sweaty mess by the end of the day. He opted to slip on a Ramones tee shirt and the nicest pair of jeans he owned. He topped the tee with a white and red plaid flannel. The reason for even buying the flannel had been because it reminded him of Dean, and he had gotten complements whenever he wore it, so he thought it would be a good choice. He tried to comb his hair but gave up. It was pointless to even own a comb, his hair was so uncooperative. 

The walk to work was quick and he enjoyed the chilled morning air. There was a smile on his face that he couldn't shake and Leroy, the other janitor on his shift eyed him when he walked in to the office to grab his overalls. "You're chipper this morning." Leroy commented. "I have a date tonight." Cas replied happily. Leroy had large, bushy black eyebrows that rose up in surprise. "You have a date? Well that's wonderful news son! I hope you have a wonderful night tonight." Cas smiled happily. "Oh, I will. I've been waiting for this night for forever." Leroy gave him a smile. "Those are always the best ones." Cas took off his flannel and hung it in his locker before slipping into his overalls. He had a routine he followed every morning that he followed like clockwork and soon he was too busy to check the time. Lunch came and went and then the afterschool bell. He finished mopping in the cafeteria and then went about waxing it. When his phone alarm started beeping to let him know it was ten to six he felt his excitement grow exponentially. He returned to his locker and took off the overalls. Leroy nodded at him as he left and Cas grabbed his flannel on his way out the door. He had just slipped it on when he heard the familiar rumble of the Impala's engine. Dean pulled up and he slid into the seat next to him, unable to shake that goofy grin he'd been wearing all day. "What has you so happy?" Dean asked, smiling. "It's Friday." Cas replied. Dean chuckled. "So where do you want to go eat?" Cas turned to look out the windows. "I don't really know, I don't get out much. If I do it's usually McDonald's because I can afford their cheeseburgers." "That's not real food Cas. Tonight we eat real food." Dean told him. "Real food included vegetables Dean." Cas said pointedly. Dean sighed. "Fine, for you I'll eat a damn vegetable." Cas looked quite pleased to hear that. "How does Olive Garden sound?" Dean asked. "I've never eaten there. Do they only serve olives?" Cas asked, honestly curious. "No man, they serve Italian food that's to die for, and they have these all you can eat deals. I haven't been to one in ages, but I always liked their food. Sammy and I used to go sometimes when on a hunt." Dean explained. Cas nodded. "It sounds very nice." Dean found the Olive Garden that he had mapped out earlier in case they couldn't decide on a place to eat and pulled into the parking lot. They got out and Dean reached out to take his hand. "I like this look Cas, you look good." He was appraising Cas' choice of outfit for the evening, especially the tight jeans he was wearing. Damn he looked good. Cas smiled. "I see you're wearing the shirt I bought you for Christmas two years ago. It looks very nice on you." Cas told him. He knew Dean had chosen to wear that particular shirt because it had been a gift from him, and he was touched by that. Plus it looked as good on him as he had imagined it would when he bought it. It practically molded to Dean's chest and arms like it was made only for him. He loved Dean in black because it made the green of his eyes even more vibrant than usual. He had seen Dean shirtless on many occasions over the years, but he had never been given the opportunity to touch him intimately, to map out every muscle, every freckle that adored that chest and those arms, and he was finding that he wanted that very much now. They had entered the restaurant and Dean was talking to the girl that wanted to seat them. She motioned for them to follow her and then led them to a small booth in the back corner. Olive Garden didn't have much by way of intimate, but this would have to do. They sat down across from each other but Dean's leg slid forward under the table, bumping against his, and for the rest of the night they sat like that, legs pressed against one another while they lost themselves in easy conversation and good food. When they had finished eating and had paid Dean led him back out to the car. He was nervous and Cas could tell. "Do you still want to come back to the motel with me?" Dean asked. Cas nodded, stepping close enough that he could smell Dean's cologne and feel the warmth radiating off of him. He heard Dean's breath catch in his throat and gave a wicked smile befor turning and going around to the passenger side and getting in. Dean stood there for a moment in shock. Cas had just flirted with him and he was left speechless.


	15. Angels and Hunters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I couldn't help it. There's full on smut in this chaper, but after all that flirting and teasing I think they needed it!

Dean:

What the hell was that?! Cas had just totally flirted with him! When the hell did Cas start flirting like that?! He stared after the former angel as he went around the car and slid into the passenger seat, completely shocked. Oh, he was going to be pissed if Charlie was right about Cas making the first move, and not because he didn't want Cas to, no, not because of that at all. It was because he hated losing, especially to a sore winner like Charlie. He ran a hand through his hair and got in the car. Cas suddenly looked very innocent, but he knew better. He drove to the motel and parked in front of his room. He got out as Cas did and dug the key for the room out of his wallet. "Where's Charlie?" Cas asked as Dean opened the door and turned the light on. "Oh, she went back to Applebees, and it wasn't for what's on the menu if you get my drift." He gave Cas a wink and then laughed. Cas laughed him him. Cas looked around the small room. Dean had stayed in much worse places than this over the years. He had too in fact. Dean closed the door and then stood there rocking on his heels looking incredibly nervous. "As far as motels go this isn't that bad." Cas remarked. Dean took a few steps closer, nodding. "At least it doesn't smell like mildew." Cas turned to look at him and Dean was pretty sure his heart had stopped. Cas looked hot standing there right then, the way his hair fell over his forehead and damn those eyes. There was a hungry look in them he'd never seen before. He opened his mouth to say something that would unwittingly sound stupid but Cas saved him the hassle by taking the last few steps and grabbing him by the front of his shirt. Cas' mouth was on his then, strong arms encircling his waist, pressing in closer until Dean's body was molded against his. The fireworks that exploded in his body with that first kiss was unlike anything Dean had ever felt before. Cas tasted sweetly of wine and chocolate from the glass of pinot he'd had back at the restaurant with the slice of tira misu that he'd raved about how delicious it was until he got Dean to try it. It had been pretty good, but the taste of it on Cas' lips was unparalled. His lips parted and Cas' tongue found his causing yet another near nuclear explosion inside him. His arms snaked around Cas, sliding up under the tee shirt he was wearing so that he could feel the firm flesh beneath. Cas moaned in his mouth and Dean's body reacted with a deep throbbing between his legs. All night he had wanted to just grab Cas' ass through those jeans, to see if it felt as good under his hands as it looked in those pants and he let his hands wander down until he was doing just that. Cas practically growled in his mouth and he felt the throbbing again. Cas' hands were under his shirt, touching, caressing, and it was driving Dean nuts. He had been worried about a kiss? Was he a complete idiot? Kissing was the easy part. Cas' intent here was perfectly clear. He wanted Dean, and he wanted him now. Dean felt like he was about to get schooled in the intimacy involved between two men by a former angel, and it excited him more than he realized. Cas rolled his hips into him making him moan loudly. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you Dean." Cas growled as his hungry mouth found that spot just along Dean's collar bone that practically drove him crazy and Dean cried out louder than he had wanted to. "Fuck Cas! Where did you learn to do this?!" He gasped. Cas simply smiled up at him, blue eyes no longer looking quite so innocent anymore. Dean kissed him again, needing to taste Cas' mouth again. Cas had managed to shrug out of his flannel shirt and his Ramones tee had half way slid up revealing a toned abdoment and pale skin. Dean pulled the shirt the rest of the way off and took a step back to admire Cas' naked chest. "God you're beautiful." He said softly. That wicked grin was back on Cas' face and he reached out, catching Dean by the buckle on his belt and pulled him forward until their bodies were pressed together again. Dean could clearly feel the erection straining against the zipper of Cas' jeans and as Cas kissed him he slid one hand down to cup it. Cas' knees nearly buckled and he let out a whimper. "Come here." Dean said and backed up toward the bed, pulling Cas with him. He had expected to be the one in control, to initiate things, but it was very clear that Cas was the one in charge, and he found that he really didn't mind at all. Cas pushed him back onto the bed and he moved up so that his entire body was on it. Cas pulled his boots off and tossed them aside before kicking his own shoes off. The intense look in those blue eyes turned Dean on more than he could have imagined and soon Cas was on the bed with him, pushing his legs apart as he undid the belt and then the zipper on Dean's pants. Cas moved slowly, every touch sensual and setting Dean's entire body on fire. With one good tug Cas had his jeans off and on the floor. "I always liked these on you. I couldn't tell you back then, I didn't know how you'd react to something like that, but these are incredibly sexy." Cas said as he ran his hands over the tight boxer briefs that Dean wore, squeezing and caressing the skin beneath them. "But I think I like them better off." Cas growled as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband and pulled. Dean lifted his hips to allow them to be slid from his body and tossed to the floor with the rest of their clothes. This time it was Cas doing the admiring. "You're absolutely perfect Dean Winchester. You're the most beautiful man I've ever know or ever want to know." The words came out in a soft, sensual sigh that seemed to blend with the way Cas' hands slid across his thighs, squeezing gently, brushing a teasing thumb against the shaft of his swollen cock. "Cas, do you know what you're doing?" Dean asked, curious as to just how much experience Cas earned himself since coming to Chi town. "If you're asking me have I slept with other men, the answer is no, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. Shut up and enjoy the ride." Cas lowered his mouth to Dean's inner thigh, his tongue working patterns across the skin and his teeth leaving soft nibbles that had Dean crying out and thrashing against the bedsheets. "Fuck!" He gasped as Cas took his cock into his mouth and began to slowly move up and down. He was already so close to exploding. Cas' hands slid under him, gripping his ass and squeezing as he moved his mouth faster, keeping pace with every thrust of Dean's hips. Dean could no longer see straight, his vision had gone white and was peppered with bright little stars. He was completely unaware of how loudly he was crying out, but Cas' mouth was working a magic on him that he'd never felt before in his life and remaining quiet was not an option. Cas' hands were roaming again and one found its way to the base of Dean's cock, adding firm strokes into the mix. Dean lost it then, his hips thrusting as he came, and practically screaming. When his body finally went limp Cas sat back, a mischievious smile on his lips. "Come here." Dean said and Cas leaned forward, allowing Dean to kiss him, tangling his half clothed body with Dean's completely naked one. "That was the best blowjob I've ever experienced. Would it sound stupid if I said thank you?" Dean was still panting, trying to catch his breath. Cas kissed him, biting gently on his lower lip as his hands continued to wander across his body. "Oh, I'm nowhere near done yet." Cas' voice was lower, huskier, and so much sexier than it usually was. Dean felt a little bolt of fear. He knew what Cas was wanting, and scared as the idea was, he was intrigued, and curiosity was getting the best of him. He loved him and if that was what Cas wanted, then he wanted it too. "Anything you want." Dean whispered in his ear before pulling the lobe into his mouth and sucking on it. Cas moaned again as Dean undid his jeans with one hand. It was a shame to see them go, but he wanted Cas as naked as he was. He pulled them off and then the boxers Cas was wearing as well. The former angel turned out to be packing not just his angel blade after all. He began to stroke Cas, slowly at first, listening to the quickening of his breathing and the little whimpers that escaped his throat. It was an incredible turn on. Suddenly Cas put a hand on his and stopped him. His mouth was pressed close to Dean's ear and the words her spoke were hot on his skin. "I want to be inside you Dean." Dean felt the pull in his own cock as it began to grow hard again. The fact that Cas was now slowly stroking him again was not helping matters at all. The idea of Cas inside him both terrified him and excited him and he finally made the decision to stop being afraid and just go for it. "I want that too." He said, looking up with those green eyes and seeing the love reflecting back in Cas' blue ones. Cas mouth was on his again, tongue searching and finding his own as his hand slid past Dean's now semi hard cock and between his legs. Using a fair amount of the semen Dean had already let loose with Cas pushed gently inside him, one finger at a time, stretching and working, feeling every gasp Dean made, devouring every moan that escaped his lips with his own mouth. Dean was tense but as Cas curled his fingers and found the spot that would drive him over the edge he began to losen up more. Cas sat up until he was on his knees, his eyes never leaving Dean's as he pushed Dean's legs apart and pulled his fingers out. He positioned himself. "You sure about this?" Cas asked. "Just fuck me already Cas." Dean begged. Cas smiled and pressed forward, sliding into Dean almost like a knife through butter. The incredible blow job had been one thing, but this? This was on a whole new level for Dean. Pain, which was somewhat pleasant in itself was quickly replaced by pleasure of a magnitude he hadn't realized was possible. Cas' every thrust was strategically placed to hit Dean's prostate and cause him the largest amount of pleasure possible, but it was intense for Cas as well and soon he was thrusting faster, harder, losing himself in the feeling of being inside the only man he had ever loved. When he finally came it was like nothing he had ever experienced before. He was nowhere near as experienced in sex in general as Dean was, but the one time he'd had sex, it had been nothing like this. This was everything he had hoped it would be, and more. The fact that Dean had agreed was what had made him the happiest. He collapsed onto the bed next to Dean, allowing himself to be pulled closer, draping an arm over Dean's waist, a leg over his hip. "I had no idea it could be like that." Dean sighed as he nuzzled into Cas' neck. "I had only hoped it would be half that good. That was the most pleasurable thing I've ever experienced." Cas said as his eyelids grew heavy. This was where he had wanted to be for so long now. He never wanted to leave again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will come sometime tomorrow. I have another full day of work and if it is half as busy as today was I won't be able to add another chapter until I get off at 9pm EST. So I'll leave you all hanging for now, but there will be another chapter coming!


	16. Chapter 16

Charlie:

Charlie had taken the room next to Dean's and when she heard the Impala pull up she sat up listening. There was a brief amount of talking, though the voices were too muffled to make out the words. It got very quiet in Dean's room and then someone moaned. She was pretty sure it was Dean. She fought the urge to squeal and instead grabbed her phone. Sam's number was at the top of her list and she hurried to the bathroom before hitting send. Sam answered on the third ring. "I assume you're calling with an update?" He asked with a laugh. "Sam! They're doing it right now!" "Where are you?" He asked, laughing. "I took the room next door. I can hear Dean through the wall!" She started laughing and ended up doubled over on the bathroom floor. Dean was only getting louder in the room next door and it just made her laugh so hard that eventually no sound was coming out. "Was that Dean?" Sam asked suddenly when there came a scream from the room next door. "Oh God! Yes it was!" She gasped. "Oh, gross!" Sam said and groaned. The sounds in the room next door quieted down. "Oh thank God!" Charlie gasped and poked her head out of the bathroom. "You're echoing, are you in the bathroom?" Sam asked her. "Yes, it's the furthest I could get away from where the bed is that they're in." She replied. "Dude, you have issues. You should go out, get a drink, meet a nice girl and NOT listen to my brother having sex. Ewww, I don't even want to THINK about my brother having sex. I think I'm going to go throw up now." He complained. "I did meet a nice girl last night. She's coming over here when her shift is over." She replied. "Oh, going to pay Dean back?" He laughed loudly in her ear. "Of course. Then I can pick on him the whole ride back." "You're evil." Sam was laughing again. "Maybe things will lighten up around here again if Cas comes back with him. Or else Cas can keep his crabby butt there." Charlie sighed and sat down on the bed. "Cas was playing hard to get, but Dean didn't give up. I think if Cas doesn't come back he very well might just stay here. So, if you need a roommate there at the bunker..." She chuckled, and he snickered. "Dean can be very persuasive when he wants to be. Besides, I can't imagine Cas being happy in a big city like that. All that crime? All the sinning? It has to be overwhelming for him." He said. "He literally goes to work and goes back to his room. I don't think he's really getting out to see all the sinning that's going on. And that's probably a good thing." She laid back in the bed and looked up at the ceiling. "Dean's really happy?" Sam asked. "I'll send you the video I took oft them last night at dinner. It's sickening how cute they are, and how happy they make each other. It's like he's a completely different person." She pulled the video up and sent it to him. "I got it. I'll check it out. Hey, I'm going to go and watch it. Let me know when you guys are on your way back." He said. "Will do. See ya soon!" She hung up and looked over at the wall. Dean owed her, she just knew it. She wasn't letting him live this one down.

Dean:

He didn't remember falling asleep but a noise in the next room woke him some time during the night and he lifted his head off the pillow trying to get his bearings. It slowly dawned on him that he was laying tangled in the motel room bed with Cas and they'd had the most amazing sex of his life, but the moans and screams coming from the next room were drawing his attention and he rolled onto his back listening more intently than he knew he should. Then it dawned on him: That was Charlie he was hearing! "Oh God..." He muttered softly. Had she heard them earlier? Was she in her room when...? He draped an arm over his face and groaned. Cas stirred next to him and moved close again, slipping an around Dean's waist and snuggling up against him. "Something wrong?" He yawned. Then he heard it too and his head picked up off the pillow. "Is that Charlie?" He asked. "Yeah. And I'm pretty sure she heard us earlier too." Dean moaned, completely embarrassed. "Oh. Ohhhhh...." Cas realized what Dean was saying but instead of hiding his face in embarrassment he was grinning. Dean looked at him, shock written across his face. "Cas, that's not funny. Knowing her she made and audio recorning and sent it to Sam, and then put it on the internet. I had no idea these walls were this thin." He covered his face again but Cas pulled his hands away and kissed him softly. "I'm not ashamed of anything I do with you." He kissed Dean again, slowly, drawing his attention away from the two women in the room next door. Cas pressed his body against Dean's until there wasn't an inch of space between them and tucked his head into the crook of Dean's neck. "I just want to lay here forever with you." He murmured. "Will you come home with me?" Dean asked softly. "Yes Dean, I'll come home. I don't ever want to leave you again." Cas replied, lifting his head enough to look up at Dean. When he saw the pure joy on his face Cas smiled. ""I love you Dean Winchester." Dean's own grin grew wider. "I love you too Cas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo....that's it. I hope you all like it! I like this more open side of Dean. Doubt anyone but Cas could ever draw it out of him though, and that's where I went with this.


End file.
